Amazathon
by adversary2113
Summary: Lex dreams about the Teen Titans.


Amazathon!

Author's Note: I do not own the characters within.

This take place the night of the episode Mazeathon.

Lex Marin is laying in his sleeping bag, mumbling to himself.

Lex: " It's still boring here. I miss TV, especially Cartoon Network and Boomerang."

Daley: " You had a busy day building your mazathon, Lex. It's time to go to sleep now, birthday boy. Good night."

Lex rolls over and goes to sleep, dreaming about his favorite toon, the Teen Titans."

He opens his eyes and they are all back on the beach. Near the plane, a enormous chunk of the beach has been roped off, like a big boxing ring, Bizarrely, Captain Russell is there, dressed in a ringmasters outfit. He hops up on the plane's wing and gets on the speaker Lex had set up this morning.

Russell: " Yowza! Come one , come all to the Flight 29 Down Amazathon!"

Lex: "What's an Amazathon?"

Eric, grumpily, " That's not a real word."

Daley: " Find a new line, we used that one in the episode."

Russell: " You kids are in luck. I cut a deal with a witch I knew, my mother in law, and she gave me this magic crystal here." He hold up an enormous cracked crystal.

Jackson : "What does it do?"

Russell: " It can send you home kid. All you have to do, the seven of you, is fight some friends of mine. And you only have to win one round, and I'll use it to send you home."

Nathan: " Sounds easy enough."

They talk for a minute and then Jackson speaks up.

Jackson:" It's a deal. Who do we fight?"

Russell grins: " Look behind you."

They turn around and …

Lex:" The Teen Titans!"

Taylor, sotto voice: " I better run get the first aid kit." She starts to go and Daley grabs her.

Daley: " Nuh uh. I get pounded, you get pounded."

Russell: " Who's first?"

They draw straws. Daley gets the short one .

Taylor: " Well, this is a win win situation if I ever saw one."

Russell: " You have to win by knockout or by immobilizing your opponent for ten seconds.

She goes to the ring . Starfire flies in and lands opposite her.

Starfire: " I am a warrior born, a princess of Tamaran. I can blister steel with a wave of my hands. What can you do?"

Daley: " I crush princesses dreams with my razor sharp tongue. I can blister lesser mortals pride with a mean look."

Starfire: " Can you duck?" She zaps Daley, catching her hair on fire. She's knocked out. Jackson and Nathan run in and put the fire out. They carry her back out of the ring.

Eric :" I told her she should have worn the SPF 40."

Russell: " The score is one to zip. Better luck next time."

Now, it's Cyborg versus Nathan

Cyborg: " I'm half man , half machine. I can punch through walls sand jump a mile."

Nathan: " I know the Boy Scout Manuel and I can climb up coconut trees."

Cyborg: " Is that so." He grins and grabs Nathan.

Twelve seconds later, Nathan is hanging from a nearby coconut tree that was in the ring's edge.

Russell: " That's a ten count!" Nathan falls just then with a thud.

Lex :" Is he hurt?"

They head a faint groan coming from Nathan.

Mel, sounding chipper: " He's ok , he landed on his hair and it cushioned the fall."

Russell: " You kids are pitiful; let's keep it going."

Mel and Raven go to the ring next.

Eric: " I wish it was a bra and panties match."

Jackson: " Me too. Uh, keep your eyes off my unrequited love interest."

Raven: " I am the cursed daughter of the Hell lord Trigun."

Mel : " I'm the only child of two Chinese American doctors who obsess over sending me to medical school when I really want to be a chef."

Raven, ruefully: " Ok, you got me there. I cast spells of the darkest magic and my soulself eats the emotions of mortals."

Mel : " I emote a lot."

Raven, licking her lips : " It's suppertime!' Her soulself wraps around Mel with an enormous slurp. It disappears and Raven burps. Mel is unconscious.

Russell, after they takes Mel out and wake her up, " Next!"

Jackson and Speedy face off.

Jackson: " Cute outfit."

Speedy : " I was trained to fight by Green Arrow."

Jackson: " Does it glow in the dark?'

Speedy " Oh, it's the TNT arrow for sure." He draws out a heat seeker and it blows Jackson out of the ring.

Eric: " Man, that was a let down. Guess the writer had a brain fart."

Russell: " Man, I should've put you guys up against Dora the Explorer. Next!"

Lex and Robin face off.

Robin: "' I was trained to fight by the greatest detective of all time. I've fought the Penguin, the Joker and Two Face all by myself."

Lex : " Doesn't it bother you that you live in a mansion with a man who likes to dress like a bat and makes you dress like a pretty bird?"

Robin: " You're gonna kiss my batarang for that."

Eric: " Batarang? That's not a real word."

Lex turns to tell Eric to get a new line and Robin whacks him.

Russell : " Man , what a massacre! And now it's just Taylor and Eric left. You guys are so screwed."

Daley starts to walk off towards camp, her hair is still smoking.

Nathan, holding his head, " Where are you going?"

Daley: " I need something from my backpack."

Nathan ; " Don't tell me you have a weapon hidden in it."

Daley: " No. I need a pencil and paper."

Nathan : " Why?"

Daley: " If Eric and Taylor are our only hope, I'm going to write my will out now."

Back in the ring, Eric and Beast Boy meet.

Eric: " Dude, some soap and water would get rid of that green skin."

Beast Boy: " I'm gonna go ape on you for that!" he turns into a chimp and jumps on Eric. He jumps up and changes back when Eric slaps him in the nether regions. " Hey, no fair."

Eric laughs : " Hey, I've been spanking the monkey for years. All's fair in a fight. Just don't turn into a rooster, I hate roosters!"

Of course, Beast Boy does just that. He jumps on Eric, who catches him by the neck.

Jackson, excited: " We may have a win! From how he keeps the sleeping bag jumping at night , Eric's all practiced up at this."

Eric, crowing in triumph: " Sucker. I'm a champion chicken choker!"

Beast Boy turns into an elephant and slings Eric into the ground with his trunk. Eric is k.."

Russell: " Oh, so close."

Daley, writing furiously, " And to Grandma, I leave my stamp collection,". she looks up as Taylor walks up.

" Can I borrow that for a sec?" Taylor asks.

Daley hands it to her. Taylor uses a page and carries it to the ring with her.

Russell; " And now, the main event! If you kids don't win, you're stuck here!"

Jackson: " Maybe we could build a raft or something? Nah, only an idiot would do that."

Taylor and Terra enter the ring.

Terra: " I'm a psycho traitor with a bad dye job and an appetite for blonde victims!"

Taylor, " Yeah, your roots are showing . But, can we talk before we get all hot and sweaty?" She hold the paper out to Terra.

Eric, desperately, " No! Go for the hot and sweaty!"

In the ring, the two girls whisper for a moment, then square off.

Taylor hits Terra with a weak slap. To the shock of everyone, she goes down.

Jackson: " Well, just like the blind hooker in the whorehouse said, I didn't see that one coming."

The 29Downers, once they get over their shock start cheering. Russell looks furious.

Russell : " I smell a rat."

Eric sniffed under his arm for a second: "' Hey, I used my deodorant!"

Russell : " Dumbass! Taylor, how did you do that?!"

Taylor: " Easy. I gave her one of Daddy's credit card numbers. I told her I'd give her the pin if she took a dive."

Russell ;" You cheated! You guys lose!"

And Russell and the Teen Titans disappear.

Lex wakes up. He hears a noise coming from Eric's sleeping bag. It's blindingly obvious what's going on.

Lex; " Chicken choker!"

Eric :" Bwaakk!!"

Lex turns over and goes back to sleep.


End file.
